My name is Heather. I have a strange of sense humor and by humor I mean dick jokes and derogatory terms about your mother.

alicesadventuresintherye:

Sometimes I’m Ernie. Sometimes I’m Bert.

(Source: loversdreamersandyou, via flamingnipplesoup)

Notes
75618
Posted
19 hours ago

bootykage:

bootykage:

bootykage:

yungflowergirl:

I truly go into housewife mode when im someones girlfriend like I will make u pancakes and bacon every morning and suck u up whenever u want

this a lie

im literally dating this girl

this a lie

she dont even know how to cook a pancake what is this

(via flamingnipplesoup)

Notes
105284
Posted
19 hours ago
nowaitstop:

You have been visited by Baljeet, the Failed Test. If you do not reblog within ten seconds, you will fail your finals.

nowaitstop:

You have been visited by Baljeet, the Failed Test. If you do not reblog within ten seconds, you will fail your finals.

(via unsolicited-dramaqueen)

Notes
522032
Posted
19 hours ago
thetoolazytothinkupacoolnameblog:

becuzbacon:

Tell it, Randy.

Randy said fuck your bullshit

thetoolazytothinkupacoolnameblog:

becuzbacon:

Tell it, Randy.

Randy said fuck your bullshit

(Source: urbran, via intensional)

Notes
370897
Posted
19 hours ago

class-snuggle:

My roommate bought a pack of 24 rolls of toilet paper yesterday, in addition to the half dozen we already had, and stored all of them in the bathroom. And just let me tell you, there’s something incredibly calming and reassuring about looking next to you while you’re on the toilet and seeing 30 rolls of toilet paper sitting there. You get a feeling like, no matter how bad shit gets in there, you’re always going to make it out okay in the end.

(via seekaninfinitegreatperhaps)

Notes
138725
Posted
1 week ago

motheryeezy:

I found this booklet in my mom’s office and it’s one of the greatest things that’s ever came into my life.

(via unsolicited-dramaqueen)

Notes
3394
Posted
2 weeks ago

radsturbate:

marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than u so they wont eat all of urs

(via sweetfucktory)

Notes
333710
Posted
2 weeks ago
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